Reservoir Bebop
by Chibi Milliardo Peacecraft
Summary: Partners in crime preparing for the perfect heist, until it becomes a bloody mess. Question is, who ratted who out? Rated R For Graphic Violence And Strong Language. Chapter 5 is up.
1. Planning The Robbery and Law on Tipping

Disclaimer: I do not own Reservoir Dogs or Cowboy Bebop, the two belong to their rightful owners and creators, this is a fanfic I made for the two.  
  
Eight guys dressed in black suits, six men dressed in black ties, two woman in black dresses, sit around a table at a breakfast bar. They are Mr. Spiegel, Mr. Black, Mr. Shin, Mr. Lin, Ms. Valentine, Ms Julia, Ms. Tivrusky, Tough Guy Ted Bower and the big boss, Vicious. Most are finished eating and are enjoying their coffee and conversation, while Vicious flips through a red address book. Ms. Valentine is telling a long and involved story about fucked up pop music. "Let me tell you what I'm A Slave 4 U" is all about. It is all about a teenage boy who digs a teenage girl with fake tits. The entire song is a metaphor for fake tits."  
  
"No it is not. It is about a teenage girl who is fedup with her lover's cheating schemes and could not get laid. Then she starts bullshitting about being a little girl --"  
  
"-- whoa... whoa...time out Ms. Tivrusky. Tell all that bullshit to the other bubblegum tourists." Ms. Valentine interrupted while Vicious looks through the address book.  
  
"Faye...who the blue fuck is Faye? Faye...Faye...think...think..."  
  
"I'm A Slave 4 U" is not about a sensitive girl who falls for a sensitive geek. Now granted that is what "Oops, I did it again" is about, no argument about that."  
  
"Which one is "Oops, I did it again?" Mr. Shin asked.  
  
"You do not remember "Oops, I did it again?" That was a shitty ass hit for Spears. Shit, I do not even follow that billboard tops in bubblegum pop bullshit, and teenagers always listen to that shit." Tough Guy Bower said.  
  
"Look, dumbass, I did not say I have not heard of it. All I asked was how does it go? Excuse me for not being the galaxy's huge BS fan."  
  
"I despise Britney." Mr. Black said.  
  
"I like that hard rock and progressive rock. You know, "Down With The Sickness", "Iron Man", "Run Like Hell" - but once Spears got into that sexual intercourse phase, I do not know, I switch radio stations." Ms. Julia said.  
  
"Hey, fuck all that, I am making a point here. You going to make me lose my train of thought here." Ms. Valentine argued.  
  
"Oh damn, Faye is that young korean singer girl." Vicious said.  
  
"What is that?" Mr. Spiegel asked.  
  
"I found this address book in a jacket I have not worn in a few years. Faye what? What the hell was her last name?"  
  
"The fuck was I talking about?"  
  
"You said "Oops I did it again" was about a geek who finds a martian teenager. But "I'm A Slave 4 U" was a metaphor for fake tits." Mr. Black answered.  
  
"Let me tell you what "I'm A Slave 4 U" is all about. It is all about this cunt is who is a genuine fuck machine. I am talking morning, day, night, afternoon, evening, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits!" Faye explained.  
  
"How many tits is that?" Mr. Shin asked.  
  
"Eleven." Mr. Spiegel answered.  
  
"Then one day he meets this gigolo of a motherfucker, and it is like, hit me baby. This motherfucker is like Mike Myers in "Austin Powers". Now he is getting this serious tits action, she is feeling something she has felt since all the time. fucking."  
  
"Midori? Faye Midori? No."  
  
"It does not even hurt. It does not even hurt her. It should be painful. Her pussy should be bubblicious by then. But when this bitch fucks him, it does not hurt. The pain is reminding a real fuck machine what is was like to be a slave. Hence, "I'm A Slave 4 U." Ms. Valentine finishes explaining and everyone cracks up.  
  
"Hayabusa?" Vicious thoughted.  
  
"Fuck you, wrong! I am right! What the fuck do you know about this anyway? You are still listening to Emi-fucking-nem." Mr. Black said.  
  
"Not wrong, dumbass, Hayabusa! You know, like the japanese name?" Mr. Spiegel snatches the address book from Vicious' hand. They argue, but they are not really pissed at each other.  
  
"Give me that fucking thing."  
  
"What the hell do you think you are doing? Give me my book back!"  
  
"I am sick of fucking hearing it Vicious, I will give it back when we leave."  
  
"What do you mean, give it to me when we leave, give it back right now."  
  
"For the past half hour now, you have just been droning on with names. "Faye...Faye...Faye...Faye Hayabusa...Faye Hayabusa... Faye Chung...fucking Tommy Chung!" I got Spears' fake tits out of my right ear, and Faye the jap I-do-not-know-what, out of my left." Mr. Spiegel said.  
  
"What do you care?" Vicious asked.  
  
"When you are annoying as hell, I care a lot."  
  
"Give me my book back."  
  
"Are you going to put it away?"  
  
"I am going to do whatever I want to do with it."  
  
"Well, then, I am afraid I am going to have to keep it."  
  
"Vicious, you want me to shoot him for you?" Mr. Shin asked.  
  
"Shit, you shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and carry that weight."  
  
"Have you guys been listening to WEBN's* block party saturday?" Tough Guy Bower asked.  
  
"Yes, it is the fucking bomb, is it not?" Ms. Tivrusky said.  
  
"Can you believe the songs they been playing?"  
  
"No, I cannot. You know what I heard the other day? "Nothing Else Matters," by Metallica. I have not heard that since I was in the fourth grade."  
  
"When I was coming down here, I was playing it. And "Light My Fire" came on. Now I have not heard that song since it was success, but when it became a big success, I heard it a thousand times. I am listening to it this morning, and this was the first time I ever realized that Morrison singing the song was a genius."  
  
"You did not know Morrison was fined of indecent proposal?" Mr. Lin asked.  
  
"I thought he was fined of causing a riot."  
  
"He says it in his words."  
  
"I know, I heard it. I must of zoned out whenever the instrumental section came on before. I thought when he said about setting the night on fire, he was talking about burning it all."  
  
"No, he did it. He did indecent proposal, too."  
  
"You know that part in "Run Like Hell - Kittie Version," when they say "they will send you back to mother in a cardboard box?" I could never figure out what they mean't." Mr. Black said. The table laughs at the respond. The waiter comes over to their table. He holds a check, and a small pot of coffee.  
  
"Can I get anyone some refill on the coffee." the waiter said.  
  
"No, we are going to be hitting it. I will take care of the check." Vicious said as he hands the bill to him.  
  
"Here you go. Please pay at the register, if you would not mind."  
  
"Certainly."  
  
"You guys have a wonderful day." They all mutter equivalents as the waiter exits and Vicious stands up.  
  
"All right, I will take care of the bill, you guys." he then turns to Mr. Spiegel. "And you, when I get back, I want my book back."  
  
"Sorry, it is my book now." Mr. Spiegel said.  
  
"Mr. Shin, I change my mind, shoot this piece of shit, will you?" Mr. Shin shoots Mr. Spiegel with his finger. Spiegel acts shot while Vicious exits.  
  
"Okay, everybody cough up the woolong for the young man." Tough guy Bower announced as everyone whips out a woolong and tosses it on the table. Everyone, that is, except Mr. Black. "Come on, throw in a woolong."  
  
"No way. I do not tip." Mr. Black said.  
  
"What do you mean you do not tip?"  
  
"I just do not like tipping, it goes against my religion."  
  
"It goes against your religion?" Tough guy bower said while Ms. Valentine laughed.  
  
"I love this guy, he is a psycho, this man."  
  
"Do you have any idea what these waiters and waitresses make? They make a pile of shit." Mr. Lin explained.  
  
"Do not give me that crap. They cannot make enough woolong, they can transfer." Everyone laughs at Mr. Black's comment.  
  
"I do not even know a Blackdog who would have the balls to say that. So let us get this straight and simple. You do not tip?"  
  
"I do not tip because the law says I got to. I tip when someone is really poor. When someone really puts forth an effort, they deserve something extra. But this tipping randomly, that shit is for the crows. As far as I am concerned, they are just doing their job."  
  
"Our waiter was polite." Mr. Lin said.  
  
"Our waiter was alright. He did not do anything real special."  
  
"What is something real special, taking you in the back of the kitchen, bring in a whore to suck your dick?" Mr. Shin laughed.  
  
"I would go over twenty percent for that."  
  
"Look, I ordered coffee. No we have been a long fucking time, and he has only filled up my mug five times. When I ordered coffee, I wanted it filled eight times."  
  
"What if he is too busy?" Ms. Julia asked.  
  
"The words "too busy" should not be in a waiter or waitresses's vocabulary." Mr. Black answered.  
  
"Excuse me, Mr. Black, but the final thing you need is one more mug of coffee." Tough Guy Bower said as they all laugh.  
  
"These ladies and gentlemen are not starving to death. Shit, they make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I was not lucky enough to have a job that the law deemed tipworthy."  
  
"Ahh, now we are getting down to it. It is not just that he is such a cheapass bastard--"  
  
"--It is that too.--" Ms. Tivrusky interrupted.  
  
"-- It is that too. But it is also he could not get a better job. You talk like a pissed off gangster: "Fuck them dickwads and their motherfucking tips."  
  
"So you do not care that they are counting on your tip to live?" Ms. Julia asked while Mr. Black rubs two of his metallic fingers together making a screeching noise.  
  
"Do you know what this is? It use to mean 'bling bling' but it is the universe's tiniest mandolin playing just for the waiters and waitresses."  
  
"You know you do not have the slightest idea what you are talking about. These people bust their asses. This is a very difficult job."  
  
"So is working at Burger King, Golden Corral, and McDonald's, but you do not feel the need to tip them. They are serving you food, you should tip them. But no, the law says do not tip these guys over here, but tip those guys over there. That is some fucked up bullshit."  
  
"They work harder than the kids at BK, McD and Golden Corral." Mr. Lin said.  
  
"Oh, cut the crap, I do not see them cleaning the frying pans and spatulas."  
  
"These people are taxed on the tips they make. When you stiff them, you owe them woolong." Mr. Shin said.  
  
"Waitress and waitering is the number two occupation for male and female non-college graduates in the universe. It is the one jab basically any man and woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of all the woolong tips they make." Mr. Spiegel explained.  
  
"Fuck all that." They all laugh except for Mr. Black. "Hey, I am very sorry that the law taxes their tips. That is just fucked up. But that is not my fault. It would appear that waiters and waitresses are just one of the many groups next to drug dealers and thugs the law fucks in the vagina on a regular basis. You show me a letter says the law should not do that, I will sign it. Put it to a vote, I will vote for it. But what I will not do is play fucking ball. And this non-college bullshit you are telling me, I got a few words for that: "Learn your fucking grammar." Because if you are expecting me to help out with the rent, you are in for a huge amount of fucking surprises."  
  
"He has convinced me. Give me back my woolong." Mr. Lin said as Tough Guy Bower slams his hand on the tip.  
  
"Hey! Leave the woolong there." Everyone laughs out loud as Vicious comes back to the table.  
  
"All right, people. Let us go and kick some ass. Wait a minute, who did not throw in their tip?"  
  
"Mr. Black." Mr. Spiegel said.  
  
"Mr. Black? Why?"  
  
"He does not tip."  
  
"You do not tip? Why?"  
  
"It goes--"  
  
"Shut the fuck up, Spiegel!" Vicious interrupted, turning his direction towards Mr. Black. "What do you mean it goes against your religion? Cough up the woolong, you metallic arm bastard, I paid for your motherfucking breakfast."  
  
"Because you paid for the entire breakfast, I am going to tip for you. Normally I do this when I feel like it." Mr. Black said.  
  
"Whatever. Just throw in your woolong, and let us move out. I am fucking dealing with junkies, not men." Vicious said as the eight men get up to depart. Mr. Black tosses his part of the tip onto the table and buttons his coat. The Black Suits exit the Restaurant, talking amongst themselves.  
  
"This is 102.7 WEBN* the galaxy's number one rock station and that was "Magic Dance" by David Bowie from the Labyrinth soundtrack, stay tuned as we will bring requests from The Doors, KoRn, Trapt, Mudvayne, Metallica, Puddle of Mudd, and Pink Floyd here at WEBN, rocking your balls and vagina off 24 hours every day."  
  
"*WEBN is based on Cincinnati, Ohio's number one rock station of all time." 


	2. Who planned The Set Up

A PT cruiser hauls ass through the rough traffic, with the sound of someone screaming in complete agony. "Just hold on, pal." Someone else said over the screams and the traffic noise, as someone stops screaming long enough to speak.  
  
"I am sorry. I cannot believe that bitch killed me. Who would have fucking thought that?"  
  
The someone screaming was Mr. Black. He lies in the backseat of the getaway cruiser, shot in the stomach. Blood covers both him and backseat.  
  
Mr. Spiegel is the someone else, behind the wheel of the getaway cruiser. He is recklessly doing 120 miles per hour, dodging in and out of the tough traffic jam from hell. Though he is driving for dear life and to avoid the ISSP force, he keeps talking to his wounded passenger in the backseat. "Just cancel that shit right now! You are hurt. You are hurt really fucking bad, but you are not dying." Mr. Spiegel said.  
  
"All this fucking blood is scaring the shit out of me. I am going to die, I know it." Mr. Black said in agony.  
  
"Oh excuse me, I did not realize you had a degree psychiatry. Are you a professor? Are you a professor? Answer me please, are you a professor?"  
  
"No, I am not!"  
  
"Ahhhh, so you admit you do not know what you are talking about. So if you are giving me your expert opinion, relax and listen to the news. I am taking you back to the rendezvous, Vicious is going to get you an surgical expert, he or she is going to fix you up, and you are going to be alright. Now say it: You are going to be alright. Say it: You are going to be alright!"  
  
"I am alright." Mr. Black said.  
  
"Correct." Mr. Spiegel said softly.  
  
Mr. Spiegel swings open the doors of an empty abandoned chapel, carrying the blood drenched body of Mr. Black inside as he still moans loudly from the rapid bullet shot. Mr. Spiegel lays him down upon the bleacher in the main hall. "Just hang in there, Mr. Black. Hold on, and wait for Vicious. I cannot do anything for you, but when Vicious arrives, which should be anytime soon, he will be able to help you. We are just going to sit here, and wait for Vicious. Who are we waiting for?" Spiegel explained.  
  
"Mr. Vicious." Black answered.  
  
"You bet your metallic ass we are." Mr. Spiegel gets up from over Mr. Black and starts to prowl around the chapel.  
  
"Please, do not leave me!" Mr. Black shouted as Spiegel bends back over and takes his partner's hand.  
  
"I am not going anywhere. I am right here. I am not going to leave you."  
  
"Spike, I am terrified like hell!" Mr. Spiegel embraces the bloody Black. Cradling and whispering in his ear.  
  
"Go ahead and be terrified, you have been tough enough for one whole day. I want you to just relax now. You are not going to die, you are going to be fine. When Vicious gets here, he will make you one hundred percent again." Spiegel lays Mr. Black back down on the bleachers, still holding his metallic hand as Black looks up at his partner.  
  
"Look, I do not want to be a bee in the comb, but if help does not come soon, I got to see a fucking doctor. I do not give a rat's ass about prison, I just do not want to fucking die."  
  
"You are not going to fucking die, all right?"  
  
"I was not born today. I am damaged and I am starting to feel brain fucking damaged."  
  
"It is not good."  
  
"Hey, bless yourself for what you are trying to do. I was panicking for a moment, but I have got my senses back now. The situation is, I am shot in the stomach. And without medical attention, I am going to die."  
  
"I cannot take you to the hospital."  
  
"Fuck prison! I do not give a flying fuck about prison. But I cannot die. You do not have to take me in. Just drive me up to the south, drop me on the sidewalk. I will not tell them anything. I swear to the fucking red dragon syndicate, I will not tell them a goddamn thing. Look in my eyes, look right into my eyes." Black said as Mr. Spiegel does what he tells him to. "I-will-not-tell-them-a-fucking-thing. You will be safe."  
  
"Lie back down, and try to---"  
  
"Fuck you, I am going to die! I need a fucking doctor! I am begging you, take me to the motherfucking doctor!" Mr. Black shouted as he lays his head back on the mattress. Spent from his outburst, he quietly mutters to himself, drenched up in the pool of his own blood. "Take me to a doctor, take me to a doctor, please." All of a sudden the chapel doors bursts open and Ms. Valentine steps inside removing her shades in a pissed off mood.  
  
"Was that a motherfucking set-up or what!?" She sees the bleeding Mr. Black on the bleachers, moaning, shot and in the pool of his own blood. "Holyshit, Black got tagged."  
  
"Shotgun shot."  
  
"Oh that is just motherfucking great! Where the sam hell is Tivrusky?" she asked.  
  
"Stone dead."  
  
"Mother fuck!, mother fuck! How did she die?" Valentine asked.  
  
"How the blue fuck do you think? The ISSP shot him in the stomach." Mr. Spiegel answered.  
  
"Oh this is bad, this is fucking bad. Is it bad?"  
  
"As opposed to good?"  
  
"This is so fucked up. Someone fucked us up big time!" Ms. Valentine muttered.  
  
"You really think we were set up?"  
  
"You even doubt it? I do not think we got set up, I know we got set up! I mean, seriously, where did all them ISSP cops come from, huh? Ten minutes they are not there, the next five minutes they are there. I did not hear any sirens. The alarm went off, all right. All right, when an alarm is set off, you have an average of fifteen minutes response time. Unless a patrol cruiser is patroling those streets, at that particular minute, you have ten minutes before they can realistically respond. In a half hour there were twenty ISSP officers out there. All loaded for bear with itchy trigger fingers, knowing exactly what the fuck they were doing, and they were all just there! Remember that wave that showed up in the cruisers? Those were the ones responding to the security alarm. But those other fuckers were already there, they were waiting for us." Valentine paused, taking a deep breath and continued. "You have not thought about this?"  
  
"I have not had a chance to think. First I was just trying to get the fuck out of here. And after we escaped, I have just been dealing with him." Mr. Spiegel explained.  
  
"Well, you better start thinking about it." Ms. Valentine said. "Because I, sure as hell, am thinking about it. In fact, that is all I am thinking about. I came this close to just driving off. Whoever set us up, knows about this place. There could have been cops sitting here waiting for me. For all we know, there are ISSP cops, driving fast like illegal street racers, on their way here now."  
  
"Let us go to the shitterroom..." Mr. Spiegel said.  
  
At the end of the hall, Mr. Spiegel and Ms. Valentine enter the restroom. The door was barely closed, restricting their view on the rest of the chapelroom. Ms. Valentine is obscured, while Mr. Spiegel washes off the blood around him. "What the blue fuck am I doing here? I felt funny about this job right now. As soon as I felt it I should of said "No thank you", and walked. But I fucking listened. Every time I ever got burnt buying wine and smokes. I always knew the prick was not right. I just felt it. But I wanted to believe the motherfucker. If he is not lying to me, and it really is the whore stick, then damn it. But is never whore's stick. And I always said if I felt that way about a job, I would walk. And I did, and I did not, because of fucking woolong!" Julia said.  
  
"What is done is done, I need you to be cool. Are you cool?" Mr. Spiegel asked.  
  
"I am cool."  
  
"Splash some water on your face. You look like you have not had enough sleep." the sink stays running as Ms. Valentine splashes some water on her face. "I am going to get my cigars." Mr. Spiegel opens the restroom door, and walks down the hallway, while Ms. Valentine, with her back turned town him, bends over the sink. Then grabs a towel, drying her face. Mr. Spiegel reenters the restroom with a pack of red baron cigars in his hand. "Would you like one?"  
  
"No thank you." Ms. Valentine said as Mr. Spiegel lights up.  
  
"Okay, let us go through what really happened. We are in the place, everything was going fine. Then the alarm gets tripped. I turn around and all these ISSP cops are outside. You are right, it was exactly like, bam! I blink my eyes are they are there. Everyone starts going whoreshit. Then Mr. Shin and Mr. Lin starts shooting all the--"  
  
"--that is not correct."  
  
"What is wrong with it?"  
  
"The cops did not show up after the alarm went off. They did not show up until after Mr. Lin started shooting everyone."  
  
"As soon as I heard the alarm, I saw the ISSP."  
  
"I am telling you, it was not that soon. They did not let their presence be known until after Mr. Lin went psychotic. I am not saying they were not there, I am saying they were there. But they did not move in until Mr. Shin and Mr. Lin turn into trigger happy madmen. That is how I know we were set up. You can see that, can you not, Mr. Spiegel?"  
  
"Look, enough of this "Mr. Spiegel" bullshit.--"  
  
"Do not tell me your full name, I do not want to know! I sure as hell am not going to tell you mine."  
  
"You are right, this is fucking bad." Mr. Spiegel said. "How did you get out?"  
  
"Shot my way out. Everyone was shooting, so I just blasted my way out of there."  
  
Ms. Valentine hauls ass down and out a busy sidewalk. She has a canvas bag with a shoulder strap on her left shoulder, and a double-barrel shotgun in both hands. Knocking down innocent bystanders out of her way whilethree ISSP cops chase after her. A young woman on rollerblades is plugged into a portable CD player, as the song she listens to loud is heard in the cops and Ms. Valentine's position as she twirls and skates backwards to the beat of the song "Like A Virgin*", not looking at where the hell she is going. Rollerblade girl turns a corner and finally collides with the badass Ms. Valentine, crashing to the concreted sidewalk. Ms. Valentine rolls into the street, in front of a moving cruiser that screeches to a stop sign, narrowly avoiding running over her. She pulls herself up from the hood of the shocked pedestrian, shakes it off, pointing her rifle at the driver. "Get out of the car! Get the fuck out of the car!" The pedestrian starts screaming in misery as Ms. Valentine tries to open the driver's side door, but it is locked. "Open the motherfucking door!" Ms. Valentine smashes the cruiser window, unlocking the cruiser door and drags the shocked pedestrian out. The ISSP patrol reach the corner with their guns aimed at the suspect. Using the crusier as a shield, Ms. Valentine fires her double-barrel shotgun at the cops. Everyone in the scene hits and scatters the ground as she hops in the cruiser with the loot. She speeds down the road with the ISSP firing after her.  
  
Back in the restroom of the chapel hall, Mr. Spiegel and Ms. Valentine continue discussing the situation that went to ashes. "I tagged a few of them. Did you kill anyone in yours and Mr. Black's path?" she asked.  
  
"A few ISSP cops."  
  
"No pedestrians or citizens?"  
  
"No, just cops."  
  
"Could you even believe Mr. Shin and Mr. Lin?"  
  
"That had to be one of the most insane fucking things I have ever seen in my lifetime." Mr. Spiegel answered. "Why the fuck would Vicious hire someone like them?"  
  
"I do not want to kill no one. But if I got to get out that door, and you are standing in my way, one way or the other, you are getting out of the way."  
  
"That is the way I look at it. A choice between doing twenty fucking years, and taking out those insane motherfuckers, are no choice at all. But I am not no psychopath either. What the fuck was Vicious thinking? You cannot work with a group of men like that. Those motherfuckers are looney as hell. What do you think, Ms. Valentine? Do you think they panicked, or you think they just turned triggerhappy?" Mr. Spiegel asked.  
  
"I think those two are a bunch of sick fucking parasites!" Ms. Valentine answered. "We are goddamn fucking lucky they did not tag us when they jammed up the place." She holds up two fingers on her right hand, making a tiny space between them, while putting her shades back on with her left. "I came this fucking close to taking their asses out myself. Everyone panics. When things get intense, everyone fucking panics Everyone. I do not care what your name is, you cannot help it. It is nature itself. But you panic on the outside. You give yourself a few seconds of panic, then you get a grip and deal with the whole situation. What you do not do is shoot up the place, turning it into a bloody slaughterhouse."  
  
"What you are supposed to do is act like a motherfucking professional. A pure psychopath is not a professional. You cannot work with a psychopath, because you do not know what those parasitic assholes are going to do next. I mean, son of a bitch, how old do you think that blind woman was? eighteen, maybe around the mid-twenties?"  
  
"Did you see what happened to anyone else?"  
  
"Me and Mr. Black jumped in the cruiser and Ms. Julia was tailed. After that, I do not know what went down." Mr. Spiegel said.  
  
"At that point it became every bounty hunter for themselves. As far as Mr. Shin and Mr. Lin or Ms. Julia are concerned, I do not got the foggiest. Once we escaped, we never looked back." Ms. Valentine said.  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"What do I think? I fucking think the ISSP caught them, or killed them."  
  
"Not even a slight chance they punched through? You found a hole."  
  
"Yes, and that was a fucking miracle. But if they did get away, where the fuck are they!?"  
  
"Ms. Valentine, you do not think it is possible, one of them got ahold of the crystals and pulled a--"  
  
"No."  
  
"How can you be so sure?" he asked.  
  
"I stashed them." Valentine answered.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"I have them, okay?"  
  
"Where? Are they out in the cruiser?"  
  
"No, they are not in the cruiser. No, I do not have them on me. You want to go with me and go after them? We can go right now. But first listen to what I am telling you. We were fucking set up! Someone is in league with the ISSP. We got a traitor in our midst. And I am thinking we should have all our fucking heads, including Vicious' examined for waiting around this forsaken place!" Ms. Valentine said.  
  
"That was the plan, we meet here." Mr. Spiegel said.  
  
"Then where is everyone else? I say the robbery became null and void once we found out we got a rat in the house. We do not have the slightest fucking idea what happened to Shin and Lin or Tivrusky. They could both be shot down or arrested. They could be torturing them down at the ISSP dungeon right now. Yes they do not know the names, but they can fucking sing about this place. I mean, that could be happening right now. As we speak, the ISSP patrol could be in their cruisers, driving here this instant."  
  
"I swear to hell, I am fucking jinxed."  
  
"What?"  
  
"About a job back, it was a five guys job, we discovered one of the team members was an undercover cop for the ISSP."  
  
"No fucking shit, Spiegel?"  
  
"Thank goodness, we discovered in time. We had to forget the whole fucking situation and just walk away from it."  
  
"So who is the rat this time? Ms. Tivrusky? Mr. Shin, Mr. Lin? Vicious? It is Vicious' concerto, he set this whole thing up. Maybe he is the one who set us up this time."  
  
"I do not buy it at all. Me and Vicious go way back. I can tell you straight up, Vicious definitely did not have anything to do with any of this fucking bullshit!"  
  
"Oh, you and Vicious go back. I known Vicious since I was five fucking years old. But me saying Vicious definitely could not have done it, because I know what the hell I did or did not do. But I cannot definitely say that about anyone else, because I do not definitely know. For all I know, you are the rat." Valentine said as Spiegel swallowed his cigar, hacking and weezing, turning to Ms. Valentine's direction.  
  
"How do I know you are not the fucking rat?!" he asked.  
  
"Now you are using your head." Ms. Valentine points over to Mr. Black as Spiegel's expression begins to change. "For all we know, Black is the rat."  
  
"Son of a bitch!" 


	3. Waiting For Tough Guy Bower And Vicious

Mr. Spiegel and Ms. Valentine run over to the bleachers of the main chapel hall as she reaches the unconscous Mr. Black first. "Is Black dead?" she asked as Mr. Spiegel pushes her out of the way and feels the pulse on Mr. Black's neck. "So, is he fucking dead or what?"  
  
"He is not dead." Spiegel answered.  
  
"So what the hell is it?"  
  
"He just passed out."  
  
"He scared the fucking shit out of me. I thought he was stone dead for sure." Valentine gasped as Mr. Spiegel stands up and walks over to a table.  
  
"No. But he will be for sure, if we do not escort him to a hospital."  
  
"We cannot take Black to a hospital."  
  
"Without fucking medical, this man will not through the dusky night. Those shotgun bullets in his stomach and leg are my fault. Now while that may not mean jack shit to you, it means a hell of a lot to me. And I am not going to just sit around with my thumb up my ass and watch him prepare for his demise."  
  
"Well, first things first, staying here is wacko. We got to book out of here." Ms. Valentine said.  
  
"So what the hell do you suggest, we go to a fucking hotel? We got a guy who was shot in the stomach and left leg, he cannot walk, he bleeds like a sheep, and when he is awake, he screams in pain and complete agony."  
  
"If you have any idea, spit it out!"  
  
"Vicious could help him. If we can get in touch with Vicious, Vicious can get him medical attention. Vicous could get a surgeon to come and see him."  
  
"Assuming we can trust Vicious, how are we going to get in touch with him? He is supposed to be here, but he is not, which is making me fucking nervous about being here. Even if Vicious is on the up and up, he is probably not going to be that excited with us. Vicious planned this fucking robbery, but he has got a blood bath in his hands now. Dead ISSPs, dead thieves, dead martians... Son of a bitch! I tend to doubt he is going to have a lot of sympathy for our plight. If I was him, I would try and put as much distance between me and this mess between are humanly impossible." Ms. Valentine said.  
  
"Before you arrived, Mr. Black was asking me to take him to a doctor. Now I do not like turning him over to the ISSP, but if we do not take him, he is dead. He begged me to do it. I told him to hold off until Vicious arrived here." Mr. Spiegel said.  
  
"Well Vicious is not getting here. We are on our own. Now, I do not know a goddamn someone who can help him, so if you know somebody, call them."  
  
"I do not know anyone."  
  
"Well, I guess we have to drop him off at the shrink. Since he does not know nothing about us, I say it is his decision."  
  
"Well, he knows a bit about myself."  
  
"You did not tell him your first name, did you?"  
  
"Yes, I told him my first name, and where I am from." Mr. Spiegel denied.  
  
The two survivors theives give a long silence and Ms. Valentine gives a blank look to her partner as she screams out: "Why the fuck would you do that!?"  
  
"I told him where I was from a few nights ago. It was a usual conversation, Valentine."  
  
"And what was telling Black your first name when you were not supposed to?"  
  
"He asked." Spiegel said as Ms. Valentine looks at him like he is a fucking retard. "We had just escaped from the ISSP patrol. He just got shot. It was my fault he got shot. He is a fucking bloody mess - he is screaming in pain and agony. I swear to the laughing bull, I thought we was going to die right then and there. I am trying to comfort him, telling him not to worry, he is going to be okay, I am going to take care of him. And he asked me what my first name was. I mean, the man was dying in my fucking arms. What the sam fuck was I supposed to tell him, "Sorry, I cannot give out that piece of info, it is against Vicious' law. I do not trust him enough."? Maybe I should of, but I could not." Mr. Spiegel shouted out.  
  
"Oh, I do not doubt it was quite wonderful--"  
  
"Do not fucking patronize me, Valentine!"  
  
"One small question: Do the ISSP have a sheet on you, where you told him about you?"  
  
"Damn right, of course."  
  
"Well that is that, then. I mean, I was worried about a mug shot or bruised shot possibility already. But now he knows: what you look like, what your first fucking name is, where you are from and what your specialty is. They are not going to have to show him a hell of a lot of photos for him to escort you out. That is it right, you did not tell him anything else that could narrow down the selection?" Valentine asked as Mr. Spiegel started to get pissed off.  
  
"If I have to tell you again to back the fuck off, me and you are going to go round and round. I do not give a rat's ass if you are a girl or not!"  
  
"We are not taking Mr. Black to the hospital."  
  
"If we do not take him, he will die."  
  
"And I am very sad about that. But some thieves are lucky and some are turned to road fucking kill." Ms. Valentine said.  
  
"That fucking does it." Mr. Spiegel charges toward Ms. Valentine as she turns toward him just in time to get clotheslined to the ground. The two thieves have a very ungraceful and realistic fist and kick fight. They go at each other like a couple of alley cats in a wrestling ring. "You son of a bitch, motherfucker!" Spiegel screamed out as he swings punches and swift kicks at Valentine.  
  
"You want to fuck with me?! You want to fuck with me?! I will show you who you are fucking with!" The thieves end up on the floor kicking, scratching, and punching as Mr. Spiegel gets her in a figure 4-leg lock, making her scream and tap out. Ms. Valentine reaches in her jacket for her magnum, and pulls it out. "Say hello to my little fucking friend!" Mr. Spiegel sees this, and immediately let's go of her, going for his magnum. The thieves are now on their knees, with their magnum's outstretched, aiming at one another.  
  
"Oh, you want to shoot me, you little piece of fucking shit?! Take a shot!"  
  
"Fuck you, Spiegel! I did not create this situation, I am just dealing with it You are acting like an amateur fucking thief. I am acting like a professional motherfucker. They get Black, they can get you, they get you, they get closer to us, and that cannot fucking happen. And you, you motherfucking wench, are looking at me like it is my fault. I did not tell him my first name. I did not tell him where I was from. I did not tell him what I knew better than to tell him. Shit, half an hour ago, you almost told me your fucking first name. You, shithead, are stuck in a situation you created. So if you want to throw bad looks somewhere, throw them at a fucking mirror or stained glass window." Ms. Valentine said as she lowered her gun and walked toward Spiegel. "So if you want to shoot someone, put that gun up your ass and shoot yourself."  
  
"You kids should not play so rough. Someone is going to start crying in agony." The two thieves stood up and they turn to see Mr. Shin And Lin standing by the entrance/exit, drinking their fill.  
  
"Mr. Shin! Mr. Lin! You two alright? We thought you might have gotten caught. What the hell happened?" the two do not respond to Valentine's question, as they start walking around the chapel, checking it all out. Not looking at either Mr. Spiegel or Ms. Valentine, as they toss their wineglasses on the floor, shattering them to pieces, making the bruised up Valentine and Spiegel nervous as shit in a bucket. But Ms. Valentine talks the two assholes through it. "Really, how did you get away?" Mr. Shin and Mr. Lin continue looking at the stained glass window in complete silence. "You saw what happened to me, I found a hole and booked. Where is Ms. Tivrusky? We were hoping you three would be together. That was the big question we had, what the fuck happened to you two and Ms. Tivrusky? We were worried the ISSP caught you." The two still remain in silence as the examine bleeding heart of Mr. Black. "He got shot in the stomach and the leg. He is still alive, but will not be for long."  
  
"Enough! You better start spitting it all out to us, assholes, because we got shit we need to talk about. We are already freaked out, we need you acting freaky like we need a fucking bag on our asses." Mr. Spiegel said as Shin and Lin look at their two bruised up partners in crime, then approaches them.  
  
"Speak up." Mr. Shin said.  
  
"We think we got a rat in the church."  
  
"We guarantee we have ourselves a rat in the church." Ms. Valentine said.  
  
"What would ever make you think that?" Mr. Lin asked.  
  
"Is that supposed to be fucking funny?"  
  
"We do not think this place is secured enough."  
  
"This church is just not secured anymore. We are leaving, and you should come with us."  
  
"Nobody is going anywhere." Mr. Lin said as he and Mr. Shin stop moving, silence takes over the chapel hall with Mr. Spiegel turning to leave.  
  
"Piss on these fucking turds, Come on, Ms. Valentine we are out of here."  
  
"Do not take another step, Mr. Spiegel." Mr. Spiegel explodes, raising his magnum and charging towards Shin and Lin.  
  
"Fuck you, assholes! It is your fucking fault we are in deeper shit right now!" Mr. Shin and Mr. Lin shake their heads and calmly sit down looking at Ms. Valentine.  
  
"What is this man's problem?" Lin referred.  
  
"What is my problem? Yes, I got a problem. I got a big motherfucking problem with any bloodsucking parasite madman who almost gets me shot to death!"  
  
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Mr. Shin asked.  
  
"That fucking shooting spree in the martian bank."  
  
"Fuck them, they set off the alarm, they deserve what they got."  
  
"You almost killed me... assholes! If I had any idea what type of men you two were, I never would have agreed to work with you." Mr. Spiegel said as Mr. Shin removed his glasses off of his face.  
  
"Are you going to howl all night, little wolfie, or are you going to bite hard?"  
  
"What the fuck was that? I am sorry, I did not catch that. Will you repeat that?"  
  
"I said. Are you going to howl all night, little wolfie, or are you going to bite hard.?" Mr. Shin slowly repeated as Spiegel approached to him and Lin.  
  
"So you want to get bitten, you pieces of shit!?"  
  
"Alright you three assholes calm the fuck down and knock it off!" Ms. Valentine said as she pushed them away from one another. "I said cut the bullshit, do you think we are running a fucking playground here! Huh? I do not believe any of this shit, all three of you got twenty-five fucking years on me, am I the only fucking professional!? Fucking guys act like a bunch of fucking communists. You ever work a job with a bunch of communists? They are just like you three, always fighting, always saying they are going to kill each other."  
  
"You even said yourself, you thought about taking them out." Spiegel said to her.  
  
"The fuck you said that?" Mr. Lin asked Valentine.  
  
"That was then. That time has passed. Right now, Mr. Shin and Lin are the only ones I completely trust. They are too fucking homicidal to be working with the ISSP."  
  
"You taking their sides?"  
  
"No, fuck sides!" What we need is a little solidarity here. Somebody is stabbing red hot dragon up our asses and we got to find out whose hand is on the fucking handle. Now I know I am no piece of shit... And Spiegel, I am pretty sure you are a good man... Shin and Lin, I am fucking positive you are on the psychotic level. So let us figure out who is the bad guy." Mr. Spiegel calms down and puts up his magnum and Shin and Lin return to their non-psychotic persona.  
  
"Well, that sure was exciting. I bet you are a big Yojimbo fan, are you not? We are ourselves are too." Mr. Shin said. "I do not know about the rest of you, but my heart is beating fucking fast." Shin paused as he placed his glasses into his coat pocket, and the beating stops. "Okay you three, follow me." Mr. Shin approaches to the door along with Spiegel, Lin and Valentine following him with their eyes.  
  
"Follow you where?"  
  
"Down to my cruiser."  
  
"Why?" Mr. Spiegel asked.  
  
"It is a surprise." Mr. Shin answered as he walks out.  
  
Three cruisers are parked out front of the chapel. Shin and Lin walk towards the cruiser they drove with Mr. Spiegel and Ms. Valentine following them behind. "We still have to get the hell out of here." Valentine said.  
  
"No, We are going to sit here and wait." Lin said.  
  
"For who, the ISSP?" Spiegel asked.  
  
"Fuck no, Tough Guy Bower." Shin answered.  
  
"Tough Guy Bower? What makes you think Tough guy is anywhere but on a shuttle half way to fucking calisto?"  
  
"Because we just talked to him. He is on his way down here, and no one is going anywhere until he gets here."  
  
"You talked to Tough Guy Bower? Why the fuck did you not say that in the first place?" Mr. Spiegel asked.  
  
"Because, you did not ask us?"  
  
"Har har fucking har. What did he say?"  
  
"Stay put. Okay guys, take a good look at the big surprise I bought you." Mr Lin said as Mr. Shin opens up the truck of his cruiser. A handcuffed pedestrian in a red hat with the Pocket Monster League logo on it, wearing a blue and white vest, black shirt, green and yellow gloves, blue pants and sneakers, is curled up inside the trunk of the cruiser. "So while we are waiting for Tough Guy Bower, what do you say we have a little fun with this prick into finding out who the rat is." 


	4. Mr Shin And Mr Lin

Big Boss Vicious sits behind his desk, speaking on the phone inside his office. "Gordon, I am telling you do not worry about it. You had a fewer bad months, shit happens." Vicious paused as it was getting out of hand and continues. "Gordon, Gordon, Gordon... Stop, you are starting to piss me off. I do not need to be told what I already know. When you have rougher months, you do what every business man in the galaxy does, I do not give a rat's ass if he is Ed Sullivan or Dean Martin. You ride it out." As he talks on the phone, there is a knock on his office door. "Come in." Vicious' partner in slime Piccaro Calvino, opens the door and steps inside while Vicious covers the receiver with his hand and looks towards the man. "Sir, Shin and Lin are outside." Calvino said.  
  
"Tell him to come inside." Vicious said as Piccaro leaves.  
  
"Gordon, a friend of mine is here, I got to go. Good enough, bye." He hangs up the phone, stands, and walks around to the front of his desk. Piccaro opens Vicious' office door and the brothers, Shin and Lin walk in. Shin and Lin are none other then the bloodsucking parasitic madmen, dressed in long black suited coats. Vicious stands in front of his desk with his arms open as the three shake each other's hands while Piccaro Calvino leaves, closing the office door behind him. "How is freedom, guys, pretty fucking good, is it not?" Vicious asked.  
  
"It is a change." Shin answered.  
  
"Is that not a sad truth. Glass of wine?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Lin. Would you like some wine?"  
  
"Sure thing." Lin said.  
  
"Have yourselves a seat." Vicious goes over to his liquor cabinet while Shin and Lin take their seats in front of Vicious' desk. "Who is your parole officer?" he asked while pouring their drinks.  
  
"A guy named Punch. Punch Goons." Lin answered.  
  
"How is he?"  
  
"A fucking asshole, will not let me leave the halfway from prison." Shin said.  
  
"Never ceases to amaze me. Fucking foreign goes out there, announces a fucking bounty that is only worth about 50,000 woolong. Son of a bitch gets Levy as a parole officer. But guys like yourselves gets stuck with a ball-breaking wasp prick of a whore." Vicious walks back around his desk and sits in his comfortable chair while Shin and Lin swallow the wine.  
  
"I just want you to know, Vicious, how much we appreciate your care packages on the inside."  
  
"What the hell did you expect me to do? Just forget about you two?" Vicious asked.  
  
"I just wanted you to know, they meant a lot." Lin said.  
  
"It is the least I could do Lin. I wish I could of done more. Now, tell me your side of the story? What are your plans?"  
  
"Well, what we want to do is go back to work. But we have this Goons prick deep up our asses. He will not let us leave halfway near the prison until we get some piece of shit job. Our plans have always been to be part of the team again." Shin said as they hear a loud knock at the door.  
  
"Come in." The door opens and in walks Vicious' top dog, Tough Guy Ted Bower. Shin and Lin turn around in their seats and sees him.  
  
"I see you sitting here, but I do not believe it." Shin and Lin get out of their seats and shake hands with Ted Bower. "How the hell are you two doing?" Bower asked.  
  
"Wonderful, now." Lin answered.  
  
"I am sorry man, I should of picked you two up personally at the can. This whole month has just been insane. I have had my head up my ass the entire fucking time."  
  
"Funny you should mention it. That is what your boss and I been talking about."  
  
"That I should have picked you up?" Bower said.  
  
"No. That your head has been up your ass. Shin and I walk through the door and Vicious says "Shin, Lin, you are back, thank goodness. Finally someone who knows what the fuck they are doing. Shin, Lin, Shin, Lin, Bower, my partner in slime, is a complete fuck up." And I say "Well, Vicious, I could of told you that." "I am ruined! Teddy Bomberboy is ruining me! My man, I trust him, but he is taking my business and flushing it down the motherfucking toilet!" Lin said. "I am not telling tales out of schoolyards. You tell him yourself, Vicious."  
  
"Ted, I hate like shit for you to hear it this way. But when Shin and Lin asked me how business was, well, you do not lie to a man who has just done nine years with his brother in the can for you." Vicious explained as Bower bobs his head up and down.  
  
"Oh, is that really a fact?" Bower said as he jumps both Shin and Lin and land on the floor. The three laughed, cussed at one another, beginning to wrestle on the floor of Vicious' office while the big boss is still on his feet yelling at them.  
  
"Alright, alright, that is enough! Playtime is over! You want to roll around on the floor, giving each other a submission hold, do it in Teddy's office, not mine!" Vicious yelled as they breaked it up. They are now completely disheveled, with their hair all messed up, clothes all rinkled. As they get themselves together, they continue taunting each other.  
  
"Boss, did you see that?"  
  
"See what?" Vicious asked.  
  
"Pricks got me in a double sharpshooter, trying to fuck me in the ass."  
  
"You fucking wish." Shin muttered.  
  
"You tried to fuck me in the boss' office, you sick motherfuckers. Look, Shin, whatever you want to do in the privacy of your own home, go do it there. But do not try to fuck with me. I do not think of you that way. I mean, I trust you alot-"  
  
"Theodore, if we were a master pagan, I would not throw you to be hanged." Shin interrupted.  
  
"No, you would keep me for yourselves. Nine years fucking punks in the ass made you appreciate prime rib when you receive it."  
  
"We might tear you up, Tough guy, but I would make you our bitch. You would be sucking the dicks and going down on a mangy bloodhound." Lin said.  
  
"Now is that not a sad slight, boss, walks into the can a big boss, walks out talking like a fucking mobster. It is all that bullshit shooting up his ass. It is backed up into his brain damaged mind and comes out of his dick."  
  
"Are you two finished? I do not want to hear anymore of your sexual fantasies. We were talking about some serious shit when you came in Ted. We got a huge problem we are trying to solve. Now, Bower, would you like to have a seat and help us solve it, or do you three want to piss shit around?" Vicious announced. Playtime was over and Shin, Lin and Ted Bower know it as they all take seats in front of Vicious' desk. "Now, Shin and Lin were telling me, they have got a parole problem."  
  
"Really?" Who is your Parole Officer?" Ted asked.  
  
"Punch Goons." Lin answered.  
  
"Goons? Holy shit, I hear he is a motherfucking dickweed."  
  
"He is a fucking dickweed. He will not let me leave halfway near the prison until we get some fucking piece of shit job."  
  
"You are coming back to work for us, correct?  
  
"I want to. But I got to show this piece of shit asshole I got an honest to goodness job before he will let me move out on my own. I cannot work for you guys and be worried about getting back before ten-hundred hour curfew." Lin said.  
  
"We can work this out, can we not?" Vicious said to Ted.  
  
"This is not all that bad. We can give you a lot of legitimate jobs. Put you on the rotation at long beach as a bartender." Ted Bower said.  
  
"We do not want to lift crates with liquor packed in them." Shin said.  
  
"You do not have to lift shit. You do not really work there. But as far as the criminal records are concerned, you do. I call up Muriel, the forewoman, tell him she has got a new guy. You are on the schedule. You have a timesheet, it is clocked in and out for you every fucking day, and you get a paycheck at the end of the week. And you know bartenders do not do too bad. So you can move away from the prison. Without Goons thinking "what the blue fuck." And if Goons ever wants to make a surprise visit, you are gone that day. That day we sent you to Calisto. We have a whole lot of shit you needed to load there. You are at the Taft airstrip picking up a bunch of shit and bringing it back. Part of your jaws are going different sections - and we got shit all over the place."  
  
"Did I not tell you not to worry?" Vicious said to Shin and Lin. "They were worried." he said to Bower.  
  
"Me and you two will cruise down to Calisto tomorrow. I will introduce you to Muriel, tell her what is going on." Bower said.  
  
"That is great, Ted, thank you." Shin said. "When do you think you will need us for real work?"  
  
"Well, it is kind of a strange time right now. Things are kind of-"  
  
"--Insane. We got a huge meeting up in Jupiter. And we are kind of just getting ready for that right now."  
  
"Let Tough Guy set you up at Calisto. Give you some woolong, get that goons fuck off your back, and we will be talking to you."  
  
"Vicious, I have an idea. Now just hear it out. I know you do not like to use any of the others on these shithole jobs, but technically, Shin and Lin are not the boys. They have been gone for years. They are not on anyone's list. You know they can handle themselves, you know you trust him." Vicious looks at Shin and Lin as if they have no idea what they are talking about. "How would you feel about pulling a heist with about seven other guys?"  
  
"What is the exposure like?" Lin asked.  
  
"Five minutes, tops. It is a tough, five minutes. It is a hold up, dawn, during business hours, dealing with a crowd. But you have the rest of the group to deal with the,. It is a jewelry shop. They are getting a huge shipment of Aztec diamonds on a certain day. They are about a mile away from the ISSP station. It is going to get picked up the day after tomorrow and sent to Ganymede. When you walk through those doors, you will know right where to go for the rarest stones. The men are talented, me and Tough Guy picked them. Nobody knows anyone else. Nobody is connected. I do not use connected men for this kind of shit." Vicious said.  
  
"What is the slice?" Shin asked.  
  
"Gore, guys, real gore, a massacre." Vicious said as they laughed in agreement. 


	5. Mr Shin And Mr Lin's Torturing Class 101

"This is 102.7 WEBN, the galaxy's number one rock station, I am Matt harris! If you listen to our 24 hour block party without sleeping, and await for 1-800 number to call, you will receive two tickets to live concerts from bands such as Godsmack, Metallica, Pantera, Smile Empty Soul, and Union Underground. From the station that likes to rock your balls and vagina off all day and night, WEBN. Go Rock Yourself!"  
  
Tough Guy Ted Bower is driving to the rendezvous chapel talking on his celluar phone with the sounds of the WEBN radio station coming out of his cruiser radio in the form of "10s" by Pantera. "Hey Vincent, we got a major situation here." he paused and continued on. "I know you do not know that. I got to talk with Vicious and find out what he wants done."  
  
The young pocket monster trainer stands in the main chapel hallway with his hands cuffed behind his back while Mr. Shin, Mr. Lin, Mr. Spiegel and Ms. Valentine surround him and proceed in beating the living shit out of him as "10s starts to play over in the chapel.  
  
"All I know is what Shin and Lin told me. They said the place turned into a motherfucking slaughterhouse festival. They took a pocket monster trainer as their hostage, just to get the fuck out of there."  
  
The four men mudhole stomp their prisoner into the ground, as his face begins bleeding.  
  
"Do I sound like I am fucking joking, Vince!? He is fucking driving around with the trainer in his trunk."  
  
"Who died, who lived, who did it, who has the loot, who got caught, who did not get caught?" Vincent said.  
  
"I do not know who did that. I do not know who has the loot, if anyone has the loot. Who is dead, who is alive, who is caught, who is not... I will know, I am practically there. But what do I tell these guys about Vicious?"  
  
"He said he is very pissed and is on his way to the rendezvous."  
  
"You sure that is what he said?"  
  
"I am positive Ted."  
  
"Okay, that is what I will them. Thank you, Vincent."  
  
Two cruisers belonging to rest of the theives are parked outside the churchlot. Ted Bower drives his cruiser up to the chapel. He gets out, looking at the other cruisers parked outside. "Fucking dicks..." he muttered to himself while making a beeline for  
  
the front door, slams it open, and steps inside the main chapel hall.  
  
"You think you are the fucking hero! huh? Mr. Poke'mon Master?!" Ms. Valentine shouted at the prisoner as she suckerpunches him in the face, still beating the shit out of him as his hat falls off of his head. Tough Guy Ted Bower walks in and everyone jumps. "What in the blue fuck is going on?"  
  
"Hey, tough guy, we got a pedestrian." Ms. Valentine said.  
  
"You are asking what is going on? Where the fuck is Vicious!?" Mr. Spiegel said as Ted Bower sees Mr. Black.  
  
"Holy shit, Mr. Black is all fucked up!"  
  
"No fucking shit, Ted, he is going to fucking die on us if we do not get him taken care of."  
  
"Ted, we were set up, the ISSP were there waiting for us."  
  
"What are you talking about? Nobody fucking set anyone up." Ted said.  
  
"The ISSP were there waiting for us!"  
  
"Bullfuckingshit!"  
  
"Hey, fuck you Ted, you were not there, we were. And I am telling you, the ISSP had that place staked out." Ms. Valentine argued.  
  
"Alright, Miss Fucking Detective, if you are so fucking smart, who done it?"  
  
"What the fuck did you think we have been asking each other?"  
  
"And what are your answers? Are you saying it was me? You think I fucking set you all up?!" Ted shouted.  
  
"I do not know, but someone else did." Ms. Valentine answered.  
  
"No one setted no one up. You fucking assholes--"  
  
"Do not call me a fucking asshole!" Mr. Spiegel pointed his finger at Tough Guy Bower.  
  
"You fucking idiots--"  
  
"Do not call me a fucking idiot!"  
  
"turned the place into a wild wild west show, and you wonder why the fucking ISSP showed up!"  
  
"Where is Vicious?" Mr. Shin asked.  
  
"I do not know, I have not talked to him. I talked to Vincent Volaju. Vince said he is on his way out here, and he is fucking pissed." Bower answered.  
  
"See, I told you he would be pissed." Ms. Valentine said to Spiegel as he pointed to Mr. Black.  
  
"What did he say?" Mr. Lin asked.  
  
"I told you I have not talked to him. All I know is that he is pissed!"  
  
"What are you going to do about him?"  
  
"Son of a fucking bitch, give me a fucking chance to breathe. I got a few questions of my own, you know."  
  
"You are not dying, Ted, Mr. Black is."  
  
"Alright, Mr. Fucking Compassion! I will call somebody."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Fucking magician charmer, what the fuck do you think. I will call a surgeon, take care of him, fix him right up. Now, where are Ms. Tivrusky and Ms. Julia?"  
  
"Tivrusky's dead, we do not know about Julia." Ms. Valentine answered.  
  
"Nobody saw what happened to Ms. Julia?"  
  
"Well, she is either dead or she is alive or the ISSP caught her or they did not." Mr. Shin said as Ted Bower approached to the prisoner.  
  
"I take it this is the faggot you told me about." Ted asked.  
  
"That is the pocket prick." Ms. Valentine answered.  
  
"Then why the hell are you stomping a mudhole on his ass for?"  
  
"So he will tell us who the fuck set us up."  
  
"Will you stop it with that bullshit! If you beat on this prick long enough, he will tell you he started the Ganymede Halloween terrorism parade and that does not make it fucking so. Okay, first things fucking last, where is the shit? Please tell me someone brought the Ganymede diamonds with them."  
  
"I got a bag with the Ganymede stones in it. I stashed it until I could be sure this chapel was not a fucking police station." Ms. Valentine answered.  
  
"Alright, then let's go and get it. First, we need to get rid of all those cruisers out there. It looks like Bob's hot cruiser lot outside. Shin and Lin, you stay here and babysit Black and the pocket monster trainer. Spiegel and Valentine, you two take a cruiser each, I will follow you. You ditch it, I will pick you up, then we will pick up Ganymede Diamonds. And while I am following you, I will arrange some sort of medical expert for Black."  
  
"We cannot leave these guys with Shin and Lin." Mr. Spiegel said.  
  
"Why the fuck not?" Ted Bower asked as Spiegel crosses to them.  
  
"Because these two are a bunch of fucking psychoes! And if you think Vicious is pissed at us, that is nothing compared to how pissed off I am at him, for putting me in the same room as those bastards."  
  
"You see what we been putting up with, Theodore? As soon as we walk through the door we are hit with this bullshit. Shin told them what you told us about staying put and Mr. Spiegel whips out his magnum, sticks it in our faces, and starts shouting out "You motherfuckers, I am going to blow you away, and blah, blah, blah." Mr. Lin explained.  
  
"They are the reason, the jewelry store turned into the predator's slaughterhouse." Mr. Spiegel said. "What are you, Valentine, a fucking silent partner? Tell him."  
  
"They went psychotic in the store, but they seem all right now." Ms. Valentine said.  
  
"This is what they were doing. pulled out a double barrel shotgun and went 'Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! from the left and right."  
  
"Yes, bam, bam, bam, bam.. We told them not to touch the alarm but they did. we blew them huge chunks of holes. If they had not done what we told them not to, they would still be alive and not a bunch of rotting corpses." Mr. Shin said as he, Lin and Spiegel start clapping their hands in gratitude.  
  
"Our fucking heroes! Is that your excuse for going on a slaughtering crazy rampage?"  
  
"We do not like alarms, Mr. Spiegel." Mr. Lin said as Spiegel gives them the two finger salute. Ms. Valentine turns to see the prisoner moving to escape, and suckerpunches him very hard in the balls.  
  
"What does it matter who stays with the these two? We are not letting him go. Not after he has seen everybody. You should have never took him out of your trunk in the first place."  
  
"We were trying to find out what he knew about the set up--"  
  
"There is no motherfucking set up!" Ted Bower shouted as he takes command of the situation. "Now here is the news. Shin, Lin, you stay here and take care of these two. Spiegel and Valentine, come with me, because if Vicious gets here and sees all those fucking cruisers parked out front, he is going to be as pissed off at me as he already is at you." Ted Bower, Mr. Spiegel and Ms. Valentine walk out of the chapel talking among themselves, leaving Shin and Lin with Mr. Black and their prisoner.  
  
"Alone at last.." Mr. Shin said as Mr. Lin closes the doors after they departed while his brother slowly approaches towards the prisoner. "Now where were we?"  
  
"I told you already I do not know anything about any motherfucking set up. I have been a Pocket Monster Trainer for only six years, nobody tells me a damn thing! I do not know anything. You can just torture me all you want--"  
  
"--Thanks, do not mind if we do." Mr. Lin said as he sharpens up his kitana.  
  
"Your boss even said there was no set up."  
  
"First off, we do not have a boss. Are you clear about that?" Mr. Shin slaps the trainer's face. "I asked you a question. Are you clear about that?"  
  
"Yes." The prisoner said.  
  
"Now, listen, we are not going to bullshit you. We do not really give a rat's cock about what you know or do not know. But we are going to torture you for anyways regardless. Not to get any info, but because a torturing pocket monster trainer amuses us. There is nothing you can say, there is nothing you can do. Except pray for a slow and painful death. Which, you will not be receiving" Mr. Shin said as he tapes the prisoner's mouth while Mr. Lin finishes sharpening the kitana up and Shin approaches to him. "You ever listen to WEBN's Block Party Weekend? it's just one of my all time favorites when it comes to torturing our victims." Mr. Shin picks up the kitana and turns on the radio to WEBN as The Doors' hit "People Are Strange" plays over the speakers. Mr. Lin walks out of the chapel to leave them alone, preparing a far worser torture. Shin slowly dances to the Pocket Monster Trainer, with the kitana in his left hand. He grabs a chair, places it in front of the prisoner and sits in it, just staring into the trainer's face, holding the kitana and singing along with the song. "When you're strange, faces come out of the rain. When you're strange, no one remembers your name." Then, like a cheetah, he lashes out, leaving a slash across his face as he moves around wildly. Mr. Shin just stares into the trainer's face singing along with The Doors' hit. Then he grabs him by his chin "Hold still.. Hold still you fuck!" and slowly cuts off his nose with the kitana, holding up the nose of a pocket monster trainer. "Hey, can you smell this?" Mr. Shin shoves the nose into his ass to make a fool out of his prisoner. "You smell that?" leaving a smirk, throws away the nose, and wipes the blood on his hair. "Lin, go get the gasoline jug." Shin said as he rises, kicking the chair he was sitting on out of his way, singing along with the song continuously to its end. Mr. Lin walks out of the chapel all the way to their cruiser, he looks around to see if no bloody eye witnesses or ISSP is around to see him. He opens the trunk, pulling out a huge can of gasoline and dances back inside carrying the can of gasoline. "That was The Doors' hit single "People are Strange." and now here is some new rock from this band called Union Underground entitled "Across The Nation." from the WWE soundtrack." Mr. Lin removes the tape off and sprays the gasoline all over the trainer, who is begging them not to do this. "Stop! Please! Stop!" Mr. Shin haults his brother Lin to spraying the gasoline. "What?!"  
  
"I said stop! don't do this. I have not even gotten laid with Misty and Mai, yet. please do not do this..." Mr. Shin ignores what he just said and lets Lin finish spraying gas allover their prisoner while they sing along with Union Underground. "Move to the music, play that fucking music, move it to the music, yeah! Get it on!" Mr. Shin lights up the match, moving it closer to the pocket monster trainer... then BAM! bullets explode in Shin and Lin's chests as they see the bloody Mr. Black firing at them as they continue taking bullet hits. Mr. Black empties his magnum and crawls to where the tortured trainer is, leaving blood pool trail behind him as he looks up at the prisoner. "What.... is your name?"  
  
"Ash." the prisoner said.  
  
"Ash what?"  
  
"Ash Ketchum."  
  
"Listen to me, Ash. I am an ISSP cop."  
  
"I know." Ash said as Mr. Black looks at him surprisingly."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Your name is something black."  
  
"Jet Black."  
  
"Officer Jenny introduced themselves once, about a few years ago."  
  
"Son of a bitch. I do not remember that at all."  
  
"I do." Ash said as the gun-shotted Mr. Black looks at the kid's gashed face and the hole in the center of his face where his nose used to be at. The prisoner begins weeping. "Those fucking bastards! Those sick fucking bastards!"  
  
"Ash, I need you to hold on. There are ISSP officers positioned and waiting to move in three miles away."  
  
"What the fuck are they all waiting for? Those motherfuckers cut off my nose! They slashed my face! I am deformed!" the prisoner shouted.  
  
"FUCK YOU! I am dying. They do not know that. All they know is they are not to make a move until Vicious shows up. I was sent undercover to get Vicious. You heard them, they said he is on his way in a very pissed off mood. Do not pussy out on me now, Ash. We are just going to sit here, sweat and bleed until Vicious sticks his fucking head through that fucking door." Mr. Black said. 


End file.
